How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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