where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
