Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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