Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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