You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
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Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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