She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
