Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
