Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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