Buhtt sex?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
