Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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