wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
