why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
