Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
