Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
