Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
