as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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