Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
