she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
