I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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