What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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