I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
