jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
