hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
