plz talk dirty to me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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