THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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