My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
