I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
