she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
