haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
