youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
you made out with another girl for some wings
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
