and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im holly from the hills drunk
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
