I'm jealous of your bromance
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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