apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize