What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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