Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize