are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
