Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
