I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
