thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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