We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
