it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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