jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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