this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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