I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
