Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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