just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
