the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
