My hand turned me down
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
