is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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