You're my little dorito
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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