why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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