I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
my poor anus
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
