my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
