ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
