is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
