Screwed.edu
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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