Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
