Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
