Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
