Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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