I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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