Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
