Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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