apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
