I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
