hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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