Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
