if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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