The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
