Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
