She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize