I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
