i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
